At dawn on a glorious Sunday morning in Dakota, my mother died. Fitting for a master gardener, May 24 was the new strawberry moon - a time to grow. Ironically, my mother was highly allergic to strawberries! However, she spent her entire life as a part of the prairie. She lived and died by the rhythm of its seasons.
This blog is one of my observations on life and death.
MAKE PLANS FOR DEATH
I was amazed how prepared my parents were for a time such as this. My mother was 86 and my father is 90 - sharp as a tack. They had planned for death. When my mother endured a sudden event that entailed making very hard decisions very quickly, my father knew her wishes and was able to make those decisions with a clear head, albeit a heavy, heavy heart. Death is a hard conversation and most of us avoid it. I certainly experienced the benefits of the many details my parents had settled beforehand.
RESPECT AND HONOR CHOICES
There are 11 children in my blended family. Trust me, we are all very opinionated - especially my parents. They made some end-of-life choices that even surprised the funeral director! They certainly surprised us! But, in unity, we respected and honored their wishes. Many families have a difficult time with this and often divisions ensue. At Clarian we talk about “crucial conversations.” I guess if we have those in life, they aren’t as necessary in death.
MAKE PLANS FOR LIFE
Within the hour of my mother’s event, she was making plans for her garden. She was moving plants and fussing with her cactus. They were planning to attend the graduation of a great grand-daughter the day she died. Life has gotten so busy and demanding we live by reaction most of the time. I asked people on my unit this week what their plans were for fun this summer. Interesting, we don’t seem to plan for fun. I think I’m going to get a new planning strategy and live life a bit differently.
DON’T FORGET LOVE
I have no doubts my mother loved me, and in kind, she knew that I loved her. It was a relationship of “show and tell.” She had a great capacity for loving her family - especially the grand and great grand children. Never miss an opportunity to let someone know they are loved before it is too late.
NURSES MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE
I was a part of a rotating vigil at my mother’s bedside. The situation was surreal; full circle. It was the hospital I worked at as a student - 45 years ago! My mind covered a lifetime during those quiet hours. I had the opportunity to share that time with a kind and caring physician and some pretty remarkable nurses: Michelle, Katie and Bonnie were very special people. My sisters and I did many of my mother’s cares while the nurses cared for us. (The Clarian philosophy of patient, family and community.) It was validation for me that a nurse doesn’t have to be DOING - mere presence sometimes makes all the difference in life and death.
Sherry
To become a Registered Nurse at Clarian, visit Nursing Jobs Indianapolis.
This blog is one of my observations on life and death.
MAKE PLANS FOR DEATH
I was amazed how prepared my parents were for a time such as this. My mother was 86 and my father is 90 - sharp as a tack. They had planned for death. When my mother endured a sudden event that entailed making very hard decisions very quickly, my father knew her wishes and was able to make those decisions with a clear head, albeit a heavy, heavy heart. Death is a hard conversation and most of us avoid it. I certainly experienced the benefits of the many details my parents had settled beforehand.
RESPECT AND HONOR CHOICES
There are 11 children in my blended family. Trust me, we are all very opinionated - especially my parents. They made some end-of-life choices that even surprised the funeral director! They certainly surprised us! But, in unity, we respected and honored their wishes. Many families have a difficult time with this and often divisions ensue. At Clarian we talk about “crucial conversations.” I guess if we have those in life, they aren’t as necessary in death.
MAKE PLANS FOR LIFE
Within the hour of my mother’s event, she was making plans for her garden. She was moving plants and fussing with her cactus. They were planning to attend the graduation of a great grand-daughter the day she died. Life has gotten so busy and demanding we live by reaction most of the time. I asked people on my unit this week what their plans were for fun this summer. Interesting, we don’t seem to plan for fun. I think I’m going to get a new planning strategy and live life a bit differently.
DON’T FORGET LOVE
I have no doubts my mother loved me, and in kind, she knew that I loved her. It was a relationship of “show and tell.” She had a great capacity for loving her family - especially the grand and great grand children. Never miss an opportunity to let someone know they are loved before it is too late.
NURSES MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE
I was a part of a rotating vigil at my mother’s bedside. The situation was surreal; full circle. It was the hospital I worked at as a student - 45 years ago! My mind covered a lifetime during those quiet hours. I had the opportunity to share that time with a kind and caring physician and some pretty remarkable nurses: Michelle, Katie and Bonnie were very special people. My sisters and I did many of my mother’s cares while the nurses cared for us. (The Clarian philosophy of patient, family and community.) It was validation for me that a nurse doesn’t have to be DOING - mere presence sometimes makes all the difference in life and death.
Sherry
To become a Registered Nurse at Clarian, visit Nursing Jobs Indianapolis.
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